Well, the year of pondering is almost at an end and I take this time to reflect on what I have done and what I have learned since I left my job this time last year.
I'll start with the 'done' things (or still doing in some cases): Certificate IV in Training and Assessment to broaden my prospects of teaching creative writing; Certificate in Yoga Teaching (almost done); Doctoral thesis (almost done). I have tutored in Biology, taught yoga, and had a goodly amount of work as a replacement teacher; travelled to New Norcia in WA to get inspiration for a new novel. I have spent some quality time with family, but still not enough.
What have I learnt? That I can be very fickle. I worry about things more than I would have thought when my mind was occupied with full-time teaching. I have a propensity to spread myself too thinly (have a look at the list above!). My confidence waxes and wanes according to the amount of daily sunlight (a melatonin problem I suspect). I am preoccupied with working out the financial budget. Now this is not so unreasonable because there was a (not totally) unexpected change in our financial situation. Chris had to leave his job because he could not sustain its physical demands while still recuperating. Fair enough. He says he's 'semi-retired'. I keep telling him that, no, we are both 'unemployed'.
If you have read my previous blogs you might recall 'what the life coach said'. In that blog I wrote about another time when I made a life-changing decision, driven by the urgency of family commitments (you see I was preoccupied with family budgets then too). The other day I had that unnerving feeling that I was in a similar situation and wondered whether I have subconsciously set myself up to be motivated by need.
Ok, the urgency to get on with it is not of the same nature as then, and I have to keep reminding myself of that, but the more you have ... So watch this space.
So... has the year been a good one. Yes. I have done and learned a great deal. I always thought that it would be a year of sorting out myself, a fruitful year of pondering and it has been that. Has it been worth the sacrifices? Yes, but that all depends on what I now do with my pondering. New Year looms. I'd thought that I was 'over' making resolutions but there is something cathartic and renewing about the process. So I will. And the progress of these will be documented in 2013s blogs "The Year of Resolution".
Happy New Year.